


After The End Is Just The Beginning

by QuakesSquare



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Eventual James Rogers, Family, Grief/Mourning, Marriage, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Post-Endgame, Pregnancy, Pregnancy lost, original child character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-13 09:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuakesSquare/pseuds/QuakesSquare
Summary: The life of Steve and Natasha Post-Endgame. Will they finally get their happy ending? Read to find out!
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	1. Great & Irreplaceable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first this was a One-Shot, entitled: Great & Irreplaceable, but I wrote another chapter and didn't want it to be a series. So, it's a full work now! Thanks for reading!

Natasha was in her twenty-ninth week of pregnancy feeling better than ever. She couldn’t wait to become a mother and she knew Steve was going to be an amazing father. When they found out they were expecting a baby boy they were ecstatic. They still hadn’t decided on a first name but they had a lot in mind. Natasha suggested Steven Rogers, Jr. but Steve felt a kid growing up with that name would already have a lot of pressure on him before he was even born, heck this baby already did. So with that hadn’t settled on his first or middle name. As for his last name Steve suggested, “Romanoff-Rogers,” but Natasha hated the idea of hyphenating their son’s name and she was more than willing to give him just Rogers as his last name. 

The couple had been together for just a few years and had never really talked about children, due to the fact that Natasha never thought she could have any. So finding out she was pregnant with "Baby Rogers" shocked them to their core. After everything they had been through over the years after defeating Thanos, Natasha literally dying and Steve bringing her back to life they deserved this. The universe owed it to them. 

However, after a hectic day at work she noticed Natasha hadn’t felt the baby move all day. She didn’t know if he was just sleeping or if she just wasn’t paying much attention to him throughout the day. She grew nervous and thought it would best if she went to the doctor’s office to check it out. Steve assured her that everything would be fine, he was stuck in traffic after a mission. He promised Natasha that he was on his way and that he would be there. So as she laid anxiously waiting for the nurse to check on the baby many thoughts flooded her head, but they were interrupted by a few light knocks on the door as the nurse walked in.

“So you haven’t been feeling any movement lately?” The nurse asked as she set up the sonogram machine. 

“No, I haven’t.” 

“Okay, I'm going to do an ultrasound and we can see what's going on.” She smiled softly at Natasha as squirted the jelly onto her swollen belly and placed the wand on it.

Natasha watched the fetal monitor impatiently.

As the nurse moved the wand around and found the baby but there was no movement or heartbeat. “Sweetheart, I'm so sorry, there’s no heartbeat detected.”

“Are you sure?” Natasha asked in denial, “Can you check again, please!” Her voice breaking 

“Yes,” the nurse said gently, “you see there’s your baby, but no heartbeat. I’m so sorry. ” 

“No, not, my baby, not my baby, my baby....” Tears streamed down her face, she was taught not to show any emotions, but she couldn’t hold back the tears her baby, their baby, her and Steve’s was gone. Their son was gone.

The nurse squeezed her hand, “I know this is hard to hear, but you've got a few options on where to go from here. Your body will likely begin labor on it's own soon. If you don't want to do that, we can have you deliver today, either by cesarean section, or break your water to induce labor for a natural birth. Have you thought about what you'd want?" 

“I’d like...I’d like to give birth naturally...” She whimpered, as she may never get the chance again.

“Okay sweetie. Just relax here for a bit and I'll go arrange a delivery room for you.” Natasha would've normally corrected the nurse not that much older than her for calling her "sweetie", but right now she couldn't even bare to think of anything that wasn't her baby. All she wanted was time with her son, she wouldn't get that. 

About fifteen minutes later Steve barged into her room looking frantic. “Natasha?”

She was staring blankly into space, her face was streaming with tears. She didn’t move, she was facing away from him, curled up on her side staring out the window in a catatonic state.

“Nat?” He walked closer to her. “Nat...oh God…”

“I lost him...” She sobbed. “You’re too late, he’s gone.”

Steve was about to say something when the nurse came in with a wheelchair. “Natasha. We've got a delivery room ready for you to be induced, okay?”

“Okay.” Natasha said softly and gingerly swung her legs off the side of the bed. 

“Natasha, what’s going on?”

“I still have to deliver him.” She stated as her voice cracked.

He swallowed, “Could I...I want to see him.”

She nodded to him as the nurse wheeled her to the delivery room.

The doctor came in and put an IV into her arm. “This is going to speed up your labor and encourage contractions.” The nurse began as she sat in front of Nat’s legs which were spread open on the bed. “I'm going to break your water, this will start your labor soon."

Natasha nodded as Steve paced throughout the room.

The nurse did the procedure and left them.

Natasha gasped as minutes later body immediately sent her a fairly strong contraction. Steve rubbed her hand with his thumb, the room was silent and neither one of them spoke to each other. Steve gently stroked her face with each contraction, nearly five hours later she was finally ready to deliver their son. 

“I can't do it.” Natasha sobbed,

“I know it’s not what we wanted but it’s going to be okay.” He said gently planting a kiss on her forehead.

“No, it's not what we wanted.” She turned away from him. “I wanted him to be alive.” 

“I know.” He said in an attempt to comfort her.

“I want him to be okay.”

Steve rubbed Natasha’s arm as he stood next to her, tears welled up in his eyes. “I want that too, but...” She turned away from him she could bear to look at him, especially knowing what he was going to say.

Natasha grabbed his hand as he stood over her, she pulled him closer to her hoping that the doctors would be proven wrong, that their son would be alive. “I want him...” Natasha sobbed, “I want him to be okay.” But, she knew when she saw Steve’s face as he let out a long sigh while tears fell from his cheeks that their baby wasn’t okay. She pushed for an half-hour before the room was silent, “Is he out?” She asked in a whisper, she knew he was. 

Steve watched as the doctor handed their baby to a nurse. “Yeah,” he paused. “He’s out.”

She was out of touch with reality and Steve knew it. Natasha looked at him defeatedly when the nurse asked if she wanted to hold her baby and shook her head. She spoke quietly to, “Go make sure he's…” She couldn’t finish her thought and a fresh tears formed in her eyes. Steve nodded and kissed her forehead before he went to their baby.

Natasha stared at the ceiling, listening to the sound of light chatter as the nurse wrapped up the baby up and handed him to Steve. Their son was so small, he barely weighed two pounds. He was hardly seen in Steve's giant arms. 

“He’s perfect...” Steve whispered as silent tears streamed down his face and made his way towards Natasha.

Nat looked at him and then turned away “No! I don’t want to see him!”

“Nat, trust me. You’re going to want to see him. He’s perfect.” 

“He’s not! He's gone…”

It took two whole hours until Natasha had the courage to look at her son. He was in what they called a CuddleCot a machine that kept stillborn babies at the right temperature so they could stay with their parents longer. Steve was outside the room on the phone with either Sam or Bucky and Baby Rogers was alone with his mother, she walked and peeked into the bassinet where her son laid slowly. She gently picked him up slowly bringing her arms closer to hold him tightly. “Hi baby boy.” She bit her lip. “You’re so beautiful...” She stroked his little head of soft stands of blonde hair with a single finger. Tears fell down her cheeks as she walked around the room with him soaking up whatever time she had left with. Steve came in quietly a moment later and Natasha walked up to him and placed her head in his chest as she cradled their baby and cried. Steve rubbed her back and held her close. 

They eventually made their way into bed and sat. Natasha scooted over in bed so Steve sit next to her. He carefully moved and gently placed his arm around Natasha as she leaned into him, moving their son closer to Steve too. She said softly and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

Natasha held her son closer to her and leaned into Steve who was crying softly. Steve kissed her temple and stroked her arm as she cried herself to sleep. Then using his free hand, he gently caressed his tiny face.

“Mommy and Daddy love you so much and we always will.” 

They named their son, Grant. _ Grant Anthony Rogers _ that is, because he was "Great" and "Irreplaceable" to them. It was a way to not only honor his father, but a fallen hero and friend of his parents. An angel just like him who his parents knew would care for him along with so many others who were in a better place now.


	2. A Better Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha deal with life after loss.

** ONE WEEK LATER **

Steve and Natasha finally came home from the hospital. When they got inside Natasha went straight into her bedroom.

“I’m gonna get lunch, anything in mind?” Steve asked. 

“I'm not hungry.” 

“Nat, you have to eat.” He said gently as she looked away from him. “Do you want me to stay with you?” 

Natasha nodded as he carefully laid down next to her, wrapping an arm around her as she leaned into him.

“It’s going to be okay.” He reassured her. She shook her head.

“I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. But, we’re gonna get through this.” He said placing his hand on hers.

Natasha sighed heavily, “I don't know.”

“Natasha, this is only going to make us stronger. We need to move on for Grant. I promise you we can visit him anytime you want and he’ll always be in our hearts.”

Natasha clutched his shirt as she buried her face into his chest. “What if I can't have more? What if he was my only chance at being a mother. He was too precious, I failed him.”

“Look Natasha, I don’t know what the future holds for us, but we’ll figure it out. Together.” Steve held her close to him. “Sometimes these things happen and they’re out of our control. As for you failing as a mother, you didn’t. The doctor said it’s nobody’s fault. So please, stop beating yourself up about it.” 

Natasha sighed as she got up to stretch and pull on a hoodie.

“Nat, where are you going?”

“I don't know, I haven't left that bed in six days.”

“Let me drive you, the doctor said you shouldn’t be doing anything strenuous. Where do you wanna go?”

She shrugs, “I don’t know, I just want to donate all this baby stuff.”

“All of it?”

“Well I'm not doing it again and I probably can't anyways. Why would I want to put myself through all of this again, put you through all of this.” She sobbed.

“Don’t say that, you don’t know for sure.” He stated lightly. 

“I know that don't think I can do this again.” She paused, “And quite frankly, I don't want to.”

“Can we at least keep some of this stuff? I want something to remember him by.” He stopped to think. “How about a memory box, with his pictures, the hospital blanket, and cap they put on him when he was born?” The doctor had suggested it to them at the hospital.

“Okay, but everything else needs to go.” She sighed. “I don’t want it, it’s too heartbreaking.” 

Another few weeks passed, Steve had gone back to work and Natasha was still healing physically after giving birth. Even though she had a natural birth she bled quite a bit after, seemingly she thought it was the Red Room's way of telling her they did their job right. Steve was with her every step of the process and every moment since the 'Miscarriage.' God, he hated that word by the way as it sounded like it was the mother's fault, that she didn't carry the baby correctly. Still he blamed himself for what happened too. He wasn't with her when everything happened. She was alone before he showed up, when he should've been there with her when she got the bad news.

Steve walked into the living room after a long day of work. He saw Natasha sitting on the couch. “I like your hair today.” He smiled, she had it in a messy bun.

“Thanks.” She said completely monotone. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m holding up, how about you?” She got up to kiss him. 

“About the same.” He answered then pressed his lips against hers. “How about physically?” 

“Good, I’m feeling better. Still a little sore, but nothing I can’t handle”

“Good, I'm glad. Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure." 

"What do you wanna watch?”

“I don't care.” 

“We didn’t finish watching all those Rocky movies."

"Yeah, sure we can watch it."

"Sam said there's a new one, Creed II."

“Okay."

"Want me to order dinner?” 

“Yeah, there’s a Chinese take out menu on the fridge.”

“Okay. You want the usual?” 

“Yeah, you know me so well.” She smiled slightly. 

Steve smiled in response, “There it is.”

“What?”

“Your smile. I haven't seen it in a while.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize it. I guess, I’m just happy you’re home.”

Steve smiled at her and called in the order.

Natasha sat comfortably on the couch and set up the movie. Steve finished ordering and sat next to her. “Are you excited to go back to work again soon?”

“Yeah...”

Steve raised an eyebrow at her. 

“What, Steve?”

“Nothing, I just thought you had more to say.”

The take out boy came and they started eating dinner and watching the movie. They got comfortable on the couch and Natasha nuzzled into Steve and he held her in his warm embrace. All was going well until, there was a baby. Adonis and Bianca had a baby girl, a healthy baby girl. When that happened Natasha got up and walked to their room. Steve debabted whether or not to follow her, but he did. When he entered their bedroom the bathroom light was on and Natasha was had the cabinet open with a bunch of pill bottles. 

"Nat?" Steve started full of concern, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Steven!" She said sternly.

"What's with all the pills?" 

"What's with all the questions?" Natasha grabbed some pills from him and popped them in her mouth and sipped a glass of water from the sink.

“Do you really need to be taking these?" 

She didn't answer. 

"You need to take care of yourself Natasha." He commented worriedly. 

“I know!” She shouted, he was clearly taken aback by her response. She began to cry.

His face softened. “Hey, talk to me.” He sat her down on the edge of the bathtub kneeling in front of her taking her hands in his.

“I guess,” she paused, “I’m still not fully over it, you know? I still think about him all the time.”

His face fell, “I know. I do too”

"I guess, taking the pills, just...just numbs the pain for a while. Because, no matter what, Steve, no physical pain I’m going through will ever compare to losing Grant.” She breath out shakily, "It's better to forget than remember him." 

"Natasha, it's okay to remember him."

“I know, but what do I have left to remember him by?” She sobbed. "I made us donate everything to the Women's shelter." 

Steve ran his fingers through her hair. “We have other things to remember him by. We have all of his ultrasounds and we kept his keepsakes from the hospital. Plus, we still have some of the other things we got for him.” He paused, “Most importantly he's always going to be right here.” Steve placed his hand over her heart.

“I wish we could’ve had more time with him."

“I know.” He kissed her hair and picked her up bridal style carrying her into their room and gently placed her on the bed. Natasha curled up, sobbing loudly. Steve went into the still unpacked hospital bag he left in the corner from over a month ago.

He approached her holding a white receiving blanket with pink and blue stripes on it. “I forgot we brought this home. It's the blanket they wrapped Grant in after they cleaned him up.” 

She doesn’t hesitate when he passes her the blanket. She took it and held it close to her. 

Steve laid down next to her wrapping his arms around her protectively. Natasha put her head on his chest and held the blanket to her chest. She tried to stop herself from crying, but tears kept coming. “I thought I was over the crying phase,” she sniffed.

He spoke softly, “It's only been a few weeks Natasha, it's going to take some time.” 

“I know, I just thought I would be able to move on. But, I can’t, I don’t think I ever will. I really wanted this. I wanted to be a mom.” She sobbed. 

“I know you did.” He rubbed her arm.

“It just feels like I failed him, because I always felt him moving inside of me and one day I didn’t, how could I not know something was wrong?” 

"I told you need to stop blaming yourself, okay. And besides I know he’s in a better place now.” 

"Better than with us?"

“No, that's not what I mean. I just know that he’s safe with your parents. my parents and all our friends, whom we loved so much. I know they’re all taking care of him.”

Natasha nodded and Steve rubbed the back of her neck. “C’mere, I wanna hold you.” 

Steve gave her a small smile and moved closer to her allowing her do what she wanted with him.

Natasha wrapped her arms around him and buried her head under the crook of his neck. “I love you Steve.”

He wrapped an arm around her and held her close to him, his heart skipped a beat. “I know you do.” He mumbled softly into her hair. Natasha’s never felt as safe as she did at that moment tucked in his warm embrace. “And you know I love you too.” He proclaimed. 

“Yes,” she whispered. “I always knew.”

Steve kissed her forehead and gently moved away from her. Then as he made his way to look through the memory box full of Grant’s things. He teared when he saw the pictures of his son. He wondered how something—someone so innocent and pure could be taken away from them and not given a chance to live.


	3. Finding Peace

The next morning Natasha got out of bed, her hair was messy and her clothes were wrinkled from laying in bed. “What are you making?” She asked, her voice horse. 

Steve didn’t turn around when he answered her, “Breakfast.” He sighed, “Your favorite, peanut butter toast and some eggs.” 

"That sounds great."

“Yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"I've just been thinking, and I think we just need to find peace.” He finally turned around, his eyes were swollen he’d definitely been crying. 

Natasha looked at him worriedly as she went over to him and placed her hand on his cheek. He couldn’t look her in the eyes, he was filled with the guilt of not being there for her and their son. 

She stroked his cheek with her thumb. “Steve talk to me.” 

At first the Super Soldier was hesitant and shook his head No. But, the look in Natasha’s eyes as she lifted his chin up to look at her compelled him to speak. “I...I just can’t believe I didn’t get to hear his heartbeat not even once, and it’s too late. How can I say I loved him when I wasn’t even there. I missed the appointments because I was working and I…”

“You used to put your ear to my belly and listen to his heartbeat remember?” Natasha rubbed his arm with her other hand. “And you would talk to him, sing to him, and tell him stories.” 

Tears streamed down his face. “I just wished I was there for the both of you when you needed me most.”

“It's over now, Steve, we can't go back.” She stated as a lump formed in her throat. 

“I know.” He sobbed as she pulled him into a hug. 

“You blame yourself too much, Steve.” 

“So do you.” 

“I know, but Steve, it’s different for me I’ve lost two.” She said softly. “I thought I’d at least make it to term with Grant.” 

“Nat, what happened is not your fault.” Steve said the looked down. “Still, I wasn’t there. I should’ve been here for you.” 

She rubbed his back, “Hey, look at me.” 

He looked down at her.

“You can mourn Steve, you lost a son too. You don't always need to be so strong.” 

“I just feel like I have to be strong, for the world, for you. Especially with you, because you’re my world Nat.” 

“You can be as strong as you want when you're Captain America. But when you're with me, you're just Steve, okay? You don't have to be the symbolic super soldier. You can just be human.” She smiled softly. “Because, that’s who I love.” 

Steve leaned down to kiss her passionately, pressing his lips firmly against hers. Natasha kissed him back with equal force, then slowly pulled away to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "Grant knew his daddy loved him."

Steve smiled at Natasha and wrapped his arm around her, “He knew his mom loved him too.”

"I did...and I still do."

"And your little Rose does too." Steve stated and kissed the top of her head. 

Natasha looks over at the stove. “Steve, is that your black toast special?”

“Yeah...wait what?” Steve turned around and saw the smoke coming out of the toaster. 

Natasha laughed her infectious laugh. 

“Sorry…” Steve chuckled, “How about we go out for lunch?"

"Well, there's a really good place in Brooklyn. If you’re up for the drive.”

“An hour for lunch?”

He waited a moment before speaking. “I know, but I think it might be best if we get out of the apartment for a while. Maybe. We can stay at the facility in New York.”

“Yeah. Yeah okay.”

Steve looks at Natasha with pain in his eyes. “I shouldn’t force you to go. If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to.”

“No, I should go.” 

“All right, why don’t we get packed...”

“I don't need much to bring much, I already have clothes there.” 

Steve walked into the bedroom room and packed some necessities. When he walked out of the room he noticed that he forgot to put away the box of Grant’s things. He sat on the couch as Natasha finished packing the rest of her things.

They head out and drive to the diner. They get out of the car slowly and walk to the entrance. There’s a sign on the window that says: _ Best In New York. Captain America himself agrees. _

"I used to come here a lot after I got out of the ice, it reminded me of my Ma's cooking." 

“That I did know.” 

"You did?"

"I'm a internationally trained spy, remember?" She patted his back as the walked inside. 

They get seated by a young gentleman who Steve knew by name. 

“So do you have anything you want to do while we’re in New York?”

“I want to go to Central Park. I haven't been there in a long time. Bucky and I used to go and play baseball there all the time.”

“That sounds nice.” 

“Yeah the weather's nice.”

“It’s been holding up, I’m surprised.”

“You know, this is gonna be our first Christmas together.”

“You're right,” he smiled and put his fork down, indicating that he was done eating. He watched her as she finished eating. “Are you done?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I am.”

“You wanna get out of here?” 

She sighed, “Yeah, I’m ready to go.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else, or head back to the facility?”

“Let’s go back to the facility, I just want to lay down. I promise we can go to Central Park tomorrow.”

“That sounds good.” 

They head to the car and and drive back to the facility. Natasha falls asleep as soon as they left. Steve knew that it was her depression that had been making her tired.

When they got back to the facility Steve opened the passenger door and unbuckled her. He gently lifted her up into his arms and kicked the door close as quietly as he could. He made his way up to their room and set her down on the bed.

Natasha started murmuring Grant’s name in her sleep. “Grant...my baby...not my baby.” She cried.

Steve placed a hand on Natasha’s shoulder and shook her gently. “Natasha…” Her eyes shot open and as she looked up at him breathing heavily. 

“Hey,” he rubbed her arm. “It’s okay, shhhh…” 

She started to sob loudly. 

“Oh Natasha.” Steve’s heart broke and he cradled her in his lap holding her close to his chest.

Tears streamed down her face and he stroked her hair. “It’s okay. No one can hurt him Natasha. You did everything you could to keep him safe, he's at peace.”

“It’s just hard. I relived the moment the nurse told me he was gone...”

Steve rocked her gently. “I know that was a painful experience for you. But he's watching over us and keeping us safe, right?” He said in a soft nurturing voice. “You kept him safe and loved, so now he's gonna keep his mommy safe. He's watching down on you, I know he is.” 

Natasha buried her head in his chest, one hand clenching his shirt and the other wrapped around his neck as tears flowed down her cheeks.

Steve rubbed her back and rocked her slowly as tears fell down his face too. He sat against the headboard and ended up falling asleep with Natasha in his arms.

They woke up the next morning in the same position they fell asleep. Steve stroked her hair as she leaned into him. “I need a shower.” She told him and moved to get out of bed.

“Nat.” Steve grabbed her hand as she stood up and pulled her down into a gentle kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She said then walked into the bathroom.

Steve got up and headed across the floor to his old room to grab some clean clothes, when he ran into Sam.

“Sam, hey.” Steve goes in for a handshake and a hug.

“Hey, man.” Sam hugged Steve back, “How are you two doing?”

Steve shrugged, Sam could tell by his eyes that was really tired. Steve sighed. “I’ll be honest, it's rough.” He said as he ran a hand through hair.

“Yeah, I get it.” Sam pated Steve’s shoulder.

“We're in town for a while, we needed to get out of the house. I'm sure she'd love to see you.” 

Sam nodded, “Maybe the three of us could go out for dinner. When you’re ready, no need to rush things.” 

“Yeah, that's a good idea, I'll talk to her about it.”

“Alright man, take care of yourself and if you ever need anything just let me know. I’m always here to help.”

“Thanks Sam, I appreciate it.” Steve smiled softly and pated Sam’s shoulder as he walked to his old room at the compound. 

The next day, Steve grabbed Natasha's hand lacing his large fingers in her delicate ones as they walked through Central Park. 

Natasha looked up at him. “It’s beautiful today.”

“It is, isn’t it I missed this so much.”

“Me too.” She smiled.

They continued walking until they got to the duck pond and stop, taking in the sights. Natasha looked down at the flock of ducks. She sighed when she saw a mother duck with all her young.

“I know you're going to keep seeing it, but it won't be so bad after a while.”

“Yeah, I know...” She leaned her head on his arm.

“It's already getting better, right? Day by day, look we're out of the house.”

“Yeah” she sighed “It has.”

“It's going to keep getting better. I promise.” He pulled her into him, hooking her in with his elbow. She placed her hand on his chest and he leaned down to kiss her.

“Thank you for being here.” She stated.

“I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else.”

She wrapped her hand around his neck and kissed him again. He smiled down at her, “I've never met anyone like you before. I feel so lucky to have yo—” 

“No,” she stopped him placing a finger on his lips. “I’m the lucky one.”

He kissed her again, “I missed doing this, I missed you.” 

“I missed you too. The past month would've been so tough without you.” 

“Don’t worry, I'm not going anywhere, okay? And I promise, we’re going to get through this.” 

“I hope so.”


	4. An Amazing Month

ONE MONTH LATER

It had been two months since they lost their son and they were trying their best to move on. Natasha finally went back to work. They kept busy working long hours, but still they always found time for each other. Natasha suggested that they go to New York for the weekend. Little did Steve know she had special plans for him. 

“Steve, do you wanna go to Manhattan tonight?”

He was stunned, yet glad to see that she was taking initiative. This was a big step for her, finally she was ready to move forward on her own. “Sure, what do you wanna do?” He asked.

“I’ll plan it don’t worry.”

“All right. When do you want to leave?”

“An hour?”

“Okay I'll take a shower then. What should I wear?”

“Just dress casual, we’re not going anywhere too special.”

Steve nodded and came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. 

Natasha was standing in front of the mirror as touched her scar from the surgery.

Steve came up from behind her and grabbing both of her hands from her abdomen and took them in his. “It’s healed fine, don't worry about it.” He knew that wasn’t the reason, she didn’t care if it healed or not. It was a reminder or their son.

“I know.” She sighed heavily and moved away from him abruptly. “Let’s get changed, shall we.”

“Okay.” He kissed the back of her head then walked to the dresser. He grabbed a pair of khakis, as she changed into a blouse and a pair of jeans. 

He smiled at her as he put his belt through the loops of his pants. “I like that on you.” He said making her blush. 

“Thanks...and you look very handsome.” She said as she put on a pair of heels.

He smirked at her as he buttoned up a blue shirt. “I haven't seen you wear heels in a while.” 

“I know, I just felt like it tonight.”

He smiled at her. “Okay, you ready?”

“Yeah, lets go.” She says grabbing the keys from on top of the dresser.

After about a two hour drive they arrive at their destination. Steve is stunned when they get there. 

“Coney Island?” 

“I wanted to do something nice for you, to show you how much you mean to me.”

“I love Coney Island, thank you.” He smiled. 

“I know, I remember you taking me here on our first date.” 

“Yeah,” he smiled. “That was a fun night.” 

_ Flashback 2 Years Ago_

_“So what do you wanna to do first?” Steve asked nervously. It wasn’t that he got nervous around Natasha, he just didn’t want to screw this up. They had finally decided to start dating and both ready wanted this to work. _

_“Let's just walk around and see.” She smiled. “I’ll just follow your lead. I know you’re an expert on this place.”_

_“I'm an expert on the 1938 version.” He laughed._

_“I know a lot has probably changed over the years, but I’m sure you remember enough.”_

_“No way!” He looked down the Midway. “That's the same cyclone!”_

_“You wanna go and ride it?” She asked._

_“Only if you do. Do you like roller coasters?” He stammered._

_ She gave him a small smirk._

_ “Of course you do.” He smiled at her. _

_“Let’s go stand in line, before it gets any longer.”_

_They walked into to the line and waited. “Bucky and I used to come here whenever we had any sort of spending money. It was 25¢ at the time. I'd usually get paid a good amount of money to drawing political cartoons or a flyer for a business and this was the place to be.” _

_“You’ve never told me that.”_

_“About Bucky and I coming here?” He looked puzzled. “I thought I mentioned that before.” _

_“No, that you drew.” She smiled. “I rarely see you draw anything.”_

_“Yeah, I guess I just haven’t had a lot of free time.”_

_“Well, I’d love to see you draw sometime.” She smirked at him. _

_He looked at her with a cute smile._

_“You’re killing me Rogers.” She grinned._

_“I'm sorry.” He laughed and put an arm around her. He didn’t know how she was going to take this gesture but he was relieved when she simply went along with it wrapping her arm around his waist. _

_They finally made their way to the front of the line. When it was their turn to get in Steve let Natasha go in first. She waited for him to get in and pulled the safety bar down before the ride started. As the coaster started going up and Steve placed his hand on Natasha’s. “You ready?”_

_She smiled as the ride reached the top. They laugh when to the coaster made its first tiny drop. As the coaster goes up and back down they screamed in enjoyment. _

_“That was fun!” He smiled. _

_“Yeah...it was.” She didn’t hesitate and kissed him full on the lips. It was the first time they kissed for real. No covers, no fake storylines. Just them together in that moment falling for eachother. _

“Let's play some games.” Steve suggested.

“Okay.” She smiled as he took her hand. 

“I’ll challenge you to a game of Krazy Kans.”

“You're on.” He payed the attendant and he hand her the beanbags.

Natasha threw her first beanbag and knocked down all three cans.

“Well, that was easy.” Steve laughed.

“Yeah it was, let’s find something a little more challenging.” 

“What about that rope climbing game?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“You wanna go first?”

“No I’ll watch you.”

“I thought we were competing?”

“Yeah we are, but first off I’m wearing heels. We don’t have to make everything a competition.” She smirked. “Plus, I’d love to see you fall flat on your face.” She laughed.

“All right.” He shook his hands and feet as if her were preparing himself. 

“You got this soldier.” She laughed and patted his back before he went to climb the ladder. 

Steve laughed and started climbing, putting his legs and feet on the side of the ladder and getting up to the button in about 15 seconds, then he hopped off to the ground effortlessly.

“Even if I wanted to there is no way I’m beating your time. I think you just set a record.”

Steve shrugged the smiled, “Try it anyways.”

“Alright, hold my heels.” Natasha said as he took off her shoes.

Steve took her heels and watched her as she climbed. Natasha climbs it in 20 seconds.

“Ah! 20!”

“I told you I couldn’t beat you.” She laughs

The Carnie asked him which stuffed animal he wanted. "Which one?" Steve asked Natasha.

“The bear.” She smiled

“All right,” the carnie hands it to hers

She takes it from the man. “Which one do you want steve?” She asks him because she got a prize too.

“I'll take the Mets one.”

“I thought you like the Dodgers?” She joked, she knew they moved to LA and Steve wasn’t so happy about that. 

“They're not in New York anymore.” He said in a playful tone. “So if I have to pick a New York team, it's not going to be the Yankees.”

“Bummer, I really like the Yankees.” 

“Careful, Romanoff, or you'll be taking the subway home.”

She laughed, he hasn’t called her by her last name in a while. “Sorry Rogers.” He laughed too as they walked along the games.

“Are you having fun?”

“I'm having a great time.” He smiled and held her hand. They pass a little boy who tries to throw a ball but isn't strong enough to knock down any of the bottles and turned to his mom crying.

“Aww poor thing.” Natasha watched the boy. “Here give him my bear. I’m sure if captain America gives it to him he’ll be happy.”

Steve unlinks their fingers and walks over to the boy, about 15 feet from where Nat stood, crouching down to his level, shaking the little boys hand, who wiped his tears, talking a little bit and then handing him the bear and the Mets pillow. He stands up, giving the boy a high five, and waves bye as he walks back to Nat.

“That was nice of you.” 

“I've been in his shoes, but he's five and I was 23.”

She wrapped her arms around him. “You’re so sweet.” She looked up at him pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Thank you for taking me here. I really enjoyed myself.”

“Absolutely, I’m happy you did.”

“Wanna go on the Wonder Wheel?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

“I think this thing is almost as old as me.” He said as they approached the ride.

“Don’t worry I think it’s older than you.”

“Last time I was on here, I was with a girl Bucky had set me up with. I tried to kiss her at the top and she pulled away. There were two and a half more rotations I had to sit through.”

“Don’t worry Rogers, if you do that tonight, you may or may not get a kiss.” She smirked at him.

He gave her a smirk and helped her on with a hand. 

They start moving up are able to see the whole city from above. “Wow the view from up here is so nice.”

“It is.” He smiled. “I'm gonna kiss you.” 

Natasha smiled. “Don’t talk just kiss me.”

Steve pulled her closer, an arm already wrapped around her and cupped her cheek, leaning in and pressing a loving kiss to her lips. His hand moves from her cheek to her neck deepening the kiss.

Natasha put her hands on his neck. 

He pulled away a big smile on his face and whispered against her lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead before they got off the ride.

“Let’s go back to the compound.” Natasha suggested.

“Okay.” 

When they got back to the compound Natasha immediately plopped herself onto the bed after she undressed and changed into her pajamas. Steve takes off his shirt and rushes over with a smirk, grabbing her by the waist and making her squeal.

“Steve!” She laughed.

He started tickling her and fell onto the bed his elbows propped up gazing at her smiling. “There it is.”

“What?” She asked.

“That smile, I love how it reaches your eyes.” 

“I wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for you. Thank you, this month has been amazing.”

“We both needed it.”

“We did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff after so much angst. Hope you enjoyed.


	5. Some Good News

THREE MONTHS LATER

Natasha and Steve we’re living separately for the past two months since Fury sent Steve to DC to work at the new S.H.I.E.L.D. facility there. Natasha didn’t like being far from him, but Steve came back every two weeks to see her. Recently Natasha has found out some shocking news Only recently within the past two months had they gotten intimate with each other again. It didn’t happen often as he was away, but they found time. At first, Steve didn’t think it was a good idea and thought they’d wait a while more, but Natasha insisted because she was way past the six week mark that the doctor recommended. So when Steve came back to New York, at his usual time, Friday at 5:00pm. He didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary, until he knocked on the door answered by a nervous Natasha.

He smiled as he walked in, kicking the door closed behind him, and swiftly gathering her into his strong arms, leaning down and firmly pressing his lips against hers. She kissed him back, but quickly broke away.

“Hey you.” He gave her a charming smile and pecked her lips again. “I missed you.” He looked her up and down. “Natasha, you look amazing.”

She smiled. “Thanks,” she sighed. “I really need to talk to you.” 

“Okay, is everything alright?”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch. “You may want to sit down.”

He sat down and frowned and giving her a confused look as stroked her hand with his thumb. “Natasha what's wrong?”

She sat next to him and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but... let me show you.” She got up and went to the bathroom, then came out with a couple pregnancy test. She sat down and passed them to him.

Before he even took them or looked at them he put it all together. “Really? You're pregnant?

She nodded, trying to read his expression. “Yeah...”

His head jerked up to look at her, looking at her confused as he spoke. “How do you feel about it?” His face not so concerned anymore. 

“Honestly, I’m freaking out.”

“You're freaking out?” He set the tests on the coffee table and took both her hands, facing her with one leg folded on the couch and one foot on the floor. His expression turns into an encouraging smile. “Natasha, you're pregnant!”

“I know, I’m just really scared. That what happened with Grant is gonna happen again.”

“I know, and I am too, but we can only hope for the best, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So worrying aside, how do you feel?” He gave her a comforting look.

“I’m really happy to say the least.” She smiled.

He was beaming and looked at her with so much love. “I'm so happy,” He said and placed a kiss on her forehead then her lips. “We’re having a baby.” He pecked her lips again and pulled away to look at her smiling from ear to ear.

“I know, I can’t believe it.”

He pulled her into his shoulder and rubbed her back. “Congratulations, Mommy.” He mumbled into her hair.

“You too daddy.”

He chuckled at the sound of that. “What a miracle.”

“I know, I feel so grateful.”

He looked down. “I haven't seen you in a month, are you showing?”

“Yeah,” she lifted up shirt. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice, I was worried you would be before I told you. I’m about 10 weeks.”

“When did you find out?”

“About a week ago. I wanted to wait until you came back so I could see your face.” She smiled.

He smiled and looks down at her bare belly that's just begun to swell with his child. “Wow you are.” He placed a large hand on her belly.

“I have an appointment in two weeks. I would love if you could make it.”

“I'll be there, I promise.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

TWO WEEKS LATER

Natasha waited in the waiting room and looked up as the door opened, it was Steve. She smiled at him, “You made it.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss this for the world”

Natasha grabbed his hand as he sat down next to her.

Steve kissed her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was this morning.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

Natasha gets called into the examination room.

“I’m supposed to go in with you or do I wait?”

“You can come in.” Natasha said in a gentle voice.

“Okay.” Steve got up and followed her in.

“Hello, Natasha!” The Doctor Cho said as she walked in, then she turned to Steve. “Steve.” 

“Hi Helen.” Steve smiled.

“All right, Natasha, so it says here you miscarried at 29 weeks, about five months ago?”

“Yes.” Natasha replied, she looked a little sad.

“I'm sorry for your loss. How’s your body healed?”

“It’s healed pretty well. I’ve had no problems.”

“Good to hear. So you've done this before, change into the gown and I'll be right back.” Dr. Cho walked out of the room. Natasha looked to Steve who looked uncomfortable. 

“Hey, you didn’t have to come if you weren’t comfortable.” Natasha said as she changed. 

“I just am new to all this.” He said to her and gave her a reassuring smile.

“I know, it’s okay.”

Doctor Cho walked back into the room and examined Natasha. “You've healed up nicely, I don't expect any uterine or abdominal scar tissue causing any problems for this pregnancy.”

Natasha nodded and Steve watched quietly. “Are we gonna get to hear the heartbeat?” He asked curiously.

“Yep, I'm going to do a vaginal exam first then we will. Natasha, scoot your butt up all the way to the edge and put your feet in these stirrups.”

Steve suddenly looked a little uncomfortable again.

Natasha laughed at him. “Steve, relax.” She told him as Dr. Cho felt around inside and then pulls her fingers out. 

“Everything feels good, go ahead and get dressed again and I'll grab the ultrasound machine.”

Doctor Cho came back in shortly after with the machine. “Are you ready to see your baby?”

“Yeah.” Steve says as he scooted forward on his seat.

Doctor Cho squirted some gel onto Natasha's abdomen and put the wand on to her belly and an image of a fetus appears on the screen.

Steve smiled at the blob on the screen, “Is that our baby?”

The doctor smiled at his reaction, “Yes, there's your little one.” 

“Oh my God.” His smile grew and he squeezed Nat’s hand. 

“Your baby has a nice strong heartbeat!”

A tear rolled down his cheek and he kissed Nat’s hand. “We have a healthy baby.” 

“He or she looks a little on the big side, but there's nothing wrong with that.”

“When do we find out the sex?” Steve asked.

“Around the 16-20 week mark, so at the next appointment.”

He nodded and smiled. “Honestly, it doesn’t matter, as long as long you and the baby are healthy and happy .” He looked down at Nat. She smiled back at him. 

“Okay, everything looks fantastic, looks like you've healed nicely. Here's a few copies of the ultrasound. I'll see you two again soon!”

“Thank you, nice meeting you.” Steve smiled and waved goodbye to the doctor. When they get out in the parking garages Steve tells Nat, that he’d meet her back at her place. He arrived shortly after her and knocked on her door.

“It's open!” 

He opened the door and walked in. “You shouldn’t announce stuff like that.” He kissed her. “I could’ve been a burglar.”

“Well good thing I know how to handle those.” She smiled into the kiss.

He laughed then became serious. “I mean it.”

“Seriously!”

He was startled by her response. “I’m sorry, I know you can handle yourself. It’s just when the baby comes I want to make sure you’re both safe.”

She leaned her head into the crook of his neck. “I know, it's your baby too.” 

"It's _ our _ baby."

“I know.” She smiled. "I still can't believe we're having a baby."

“Is it too soon to think about names?”

“Yeah, I just want to know if it's a boy or a girl first.”

“What about Theodore or Lincoln, like the presidents.” Steve suggested winkling his nose in thought as he suggested other names like: Jackson, Alexander. "Hmm, what about Nicholas?"

"Those are all boy names, what if it's a girl?"

"Sarah, after my mom and Emma or Ava, I mean those are pretty popular names but they work. Maybe something a little more classic like Elizabeth, or Eleanor, or Prudence." 

"Steve," she said softly, "I appreciate the enthusiasm, I do, but please, not now, okay?" She stroked the back of his neck. 

“Okay.” He smiled. "I'm sorry."

“It's okay, I just need my Steve time.” 

He smiled, "Can do. How about a movie?”

“Sounds amazing.”

“Your choice tonight.”

She picked a movie and showed it him. _ Anastasia. _

“Of course, that’s your favorite.”

“I know you love it too.”

He nodded, "you know I cry like a baby every time we watch it." He smiled and sat on the couch, his arm over the top so she could curl up next to him. He wrapped his arm around her.

“That's one of the many reasons why I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll always love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, Steve loves badass Russian red heads with the last name Romanoff/Romanova. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feed back is welcomed too!


	6. Not Damaged, Just So Damn Perfect

Steve recently got a call that Bucky was in a bad accident while fighting crime with Sam, then had his memory hijacked by Baron Zemo again. Steve wanted to be there when Bucky awoke in the recovery room. 

“Hey Buck.” He said softly.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, how are you?”

“Better, I think.” Bucky gave him a small smile. “Where are we?”

“In Washington DC.”

"What happened?" 

"You and Sam were in an accident." 

"Is he okay?" 

"He's fine, just a few scrapes and bruises. You actually covered him when you were being attacked." 

"That's good." Bucky nodded, “When can I go ho-“ he paused, “When can I leave?”

“In a day or two.”

Bucky laid back looking up. 

“I’m glad to have you back.”

Bucky looked pretty upset. “I'm sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I’m just happy to have my best friend back.”

“It's not the same.”

“I know how you feel. The worlds really changed.”

“I don't know how you do it.”

“Don’t worry Buck. I’ll help you adjust.” 

“Are you fully adjusted?”

“Yeah, it took me a while and sometimes things feel a little weird but I had great people help me and I’m sure they’ll help you too.”

"Natasha?" Bucky nodded and Steve smiled. 

The next day Steve took Bucky to him and Nat’s house. When he opens the door “Natasha, are you home?” 

Steve and Bucky walk inside. Bucky nervously had his hands in his pockets.

She walked into the living room. “Hey Nat.” Steve said then kissed her. 

She kissed him back, “Hey you.” 

Steve wrapped his arms around Natasha's waist.

Bucky’s eyes widen a bit when he sees her belly and he turns to Steve. “You guys are having a baby?”

“Yeah, we are.” Steve smiles softly.

“Wow... congratulations.” Bucky said exhaustedly. They told him before but Bucky forgot due to his head injury. 

“Thanks Buck.”

Bucky gave Steve and Nat the smallest of smiles.

“Okay, why don’t we sit down and I’ll order some lunch for us.”

Bucky sat at the table being silent. 

Steve sat next to Nat on the dining table across of Bucky. 

“So are you guys married?”

Steve looked at Nat. “No, we’re not married, and we actually haven’t really talked about it. But, that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.” He smiled. 

“Oh, I'm sorry. You two seem really happy.”

“Yeah, we are.”

“So where am I staying tonight?”

“You can take the couch if you like.” Steve looked to Nat. “Is that alright with you?” 

“Yeah, absolutely.” Natasha replied.

“Thanks.” Steve said and kissed her cheek.

Steve goes to the other room and makes the couch for Bucky. 

“So Natasha, how did a guy like Steve end up with a girl like you?”

Natasha shrugged, “I guess he likes ‘em damaged.” 

“I wouldn’t say that about you. Steve’s real picky about women. He always wanted to wait for the right one. The right parter.”

“I don't think you really know me.”

“Maybe I don’t know you? Geez Natalia, we have history remember?"

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Anyways, I definitely know Steve. He's like my annoying little brother, yet the most amazing best friend.”

“He sees things in people that no one else does.”

“Yeah, he does. He’s a great guy, always been.”

Steve comes back from the living room and into the dining area. “Everything’s all set up for you Buck.”

“Thanks Steve.” Bucky gave a small smile.

“Of course.” Bucky went to the other room and Steve walked up to Nat. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.  
“How are you feeling?” Steve asked.

“I’m okay.” She smiled. 

“How’s the baby?”

“Baby's fine.”

“Good, how about mommy?”

“Mommy's feeling fine.”

“I’m glad.” Steve held Natasha close to him.

“So what did you two talk about? I heard you while I was in the other room.”

“How you like ‘em damaged.”

“Natasha, you’re not damaged.”

“Yeah, I am.”

Steve shook his head. “Why do you think that?”

“Because I am, it’s the way I was raised.”

Steve took her hand in his. “Maybe, you think that. But, to me you're the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” 

She smiled at him then looked down bashful.

He lifted her chin up with his hand. “Hey, trust me, you’re not damaged.” He smiled softly at her. "If anything you're damn perfect to me."

Her heart swelled. 

“Just remember I love you and I always will.” He said then pressed a passionate kiss on her lips. as she returned the kiss. 

The two romantics stayed like this for a while until Bucky walked out from the room and saw them kissing. 

“Oh, sorry.” Bucky turned around quickly so he wasn’t facing them. 

Steve broke the kiss. “Bucky!” Steve chuckled nervously. “I didn’t see you there.”

“I know.”

Steve laughed then winks at Bucky.

Bucky smirked at Steve. “So was that your first kiss?”

Steve laughed as gestured to Nat’s belly. “What do you think?” 

"I don't know Punk." Bucky laughed. 

** THREE WEEKS LATER **

“So are you excited to find out?” Steve asked placing his hand on Nat’s while sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office.

She nodded, “What do you want?”

Steve shrugged. “Honestly, just a healthy baby.”

“Me too.”

The nurse called them into the room and the doctor came in shortly after. “Hello, Natasha you know the drill. She said as she got the machine ready. “How are you feeling today?”

“I'm feeling good, morning sickness is gone.”

“Excellent I’m glad to hear, that. Could you lift your shirt up?”

She nodded the lifted her shirt up revealing a perfectly round belly.

The doctor put some gel on Nat’s belly and moves the wand around it. “There’s your baby.” She said as we moved the wand around trying to find the sex. 

“Oh wow, it did a lot of growing in a month.” 

The doctor turned to Nat. “Yes, _he_ did.”

Steve looked to the doctor with a confused look on his face. “Wait did you just say _he_?”

Nat looked up at Steve then at the doctor.

“Yes, you’re having a boy.” She smiled.

Natasha gasped and put her thumb and finger over her eyes, which were squeezed shut, then moves her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.” 

Steve kissed her forehead and rubbed her other hand with his thumb.

“A boy." Natasha had tears in her eyes. "A baby boy, Steve."

“I know.” He was out of words started to tear up. “A baby boy.” 

She squeezed his hand.

“Are you happy?” He asked trying to gauge what she was feeling.

“Yeah, I'm so happy.” She said as he wiped the tear from her eyes. 

“What about you?” 

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Had a busy weekend with Thanksgiving and finals week approaching. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! BTW I watched Chris in Knives Out and it was AMAZING. I also watched Scarlett in Jojo Rabbit a few weeks ago and that was great too! ALSO, BLACK WIDOW TRAILER THIS WEEK!!!


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